I have been writing this post for almost a month. I wanted to devote a lot more time on this post, especially as the very name of this website is inspired by Neo. No pressure!
The day Neo turned three; a friend sent me a message wishing him a happy birthday and then adding at the end ‘OMG! You are a mother to a three year old!’.
I suddenly realised that that’s how long it takes do study for a diploma or junior degree so when she mentioned it, it really did feel like graduation day! I felt like I should have been given a certificate or something for me to walk around and show everyone that I have a three year old and still have all my hair!
After three years, I want to feel a sense of achievement for not just surviving; I think survival is a given if not a must! No, I want to feel a sense of achievement for remembering, for living the past three years, for growing with Neo and letting him school me more times than I care to count. I also want to remember the things that I did wrong, they are plenty, and forgive myself (that’s always the hardest part for me)! And also not let them cast a shadow over all the laughter, giggles, hugs, kisses, tantrums, tears, sniffles and the unprompted ‘I love you’s from him’.
I want to try and remember that there will be awesome, unforgettable days with him; and also really challenging ones when I really am thinking of how to pull off killing him and hiding his body! Parenting has been an incredible journey and three years in, the biggest learning has been letting go of the idea of what I imagined Neo to be and let him be him.
He said to me a few weeks ago ‘I am me and you are you’. I could not have said it better!
Happy third birthday to you Neo! O gole o lekane le tlou!
Here are a few snaps from week-end long birthday celebrations
Thanks for stopping by and have a great Thursday!